Questions and Answers

Stole this from Miss Mile High’s blog. 🙂 Some questions, along with my answers.

Do you prefer (interior) doors open or doors closed in your home?

I like the doors open. I think it gets stuffy if you close them. I also like a lot of light. HH will close them. Especially if the room doesn’t get much use. When CH was in NY, his door stayed closed the entire time. When no one is using the guest room, he closed that as well. I don’t like it because it makes the hallway dark.

How do you divide the household tasks?

CH has a chore list, which he tries to have amnesia about. He is supposed to clean the second bathroom, since he uses it the most. HH and I just kinda do what needs to be done. He may be a bit junky/cluttery (is that a word? LOL), but when he cleans he does a good job. He’s great at keeping the laminate floors swept and clean. We both clean the kitchen as needed. I’ve been boycotting cooking because lately when I’ve come home from work, there are always dishes in the sink. Dishes that HH and CH have used and didn’t wash. I don’t have time to be cleaning up the kitchen BEFORE I cook. That’s a pet peeve. Not to mention, cooking with an attached 9.5 month old who hollers whenever you’re not in her line of sight is a bit much. But anywho…

What’s the best book you’ve read recently?

I don’t even have time to read. Yet I continue to download free and discounted eBooks from Book Gorilla and Book Bub. *sigh* Weekends used to be my reading time, but with HH working on weekends, and no daycare, it’s me and my Lailah. Alas, no reading. I haven’t a clue how I’m going to study for my SCLA designation, but I will get it done.

Do you play any games on your phone or tablet?

I play Words With Friends and Scramble With Friends on my phone a lot. My nieces got me playing 2048, and one of my eFriends got me on Threes, but that one is harder than 2048. On my tablet I play a word game called WordStorm. I used to play Angry Birds a lot, but I’ve lost interest. I also play a game called Word Welder.

Winter, spring, summer or fall?

Fall! I love the leaves changing. And the fact that it’s not Upstate NY, so I can enjoy it without freezing outside. The maples here are changing already. Fall is also the time I got married and the time Lailah was born.

Weekends to go, go, go or to relax? Or a combination of the the two?

HH works. I can’t “go” a lot unless it’s some place I can take Lailah. So it’s kind of a combination of the two. I may take her to run store errands and to the park, if it’s not sweltering. It makes me sad that HH works all weekend. I don’t look forward to weekends like I used to pre-baby and marriage.

Do you love your job? Hate your job? Look regularly?

I loved my job when I started two and a half years ago. I had a great manager. The work load was super manageable. Now, I have a manager who makes me feel bi-polar, because I go back and forth between tolerating her and sometimes actually liking her, to wanting to choke her out, Spreewell style. The biggest thing is that they were slow to react when we lost people this summer, and us reps are paying for it. Everyone is overworked and tired. I definitely don’t love it. However, it pays the bills. And you also don’t know if switching jobs will take you out of the frying pan straight into the fire. I get emails dang near every day that a certain company is hiring. Had a coworker leave and go there in July. I’m not ready to go just yet.

Maybe I should start playing the Powerball and MegaMillions…

OK – your turn! 🙂

Randoms

Howdy, peeps? How are you? I know I’m super sporadic. Hang in there with me.

This weekend Lailah and I had quite a busy Saturday. One of my friends had a luncheon get together for a bunch of us who used to work together. This was the job where I met Serenity_23. The reason for the luncheon was that one of our old coworkers passed away a few weeks ago. She wasn’t sick that we know of. Her grandson (whom she had primary custody of) found her. So sad. So we figured we shouldn’t wait so long to get together. It was nice to see everyone. Everyone loved Lailah, and kept saying what a good baby she was.

After that, we went to a birthday party for a 1 year old. Lailah fell asleep on the way to the party, but she woke up when we got inside. It was such a nice celebration. I remember when my friend announced that she was pregnant, and now her daughter is 1.

It’s so nice to get out and about when we can. Most of my friends live way on the other side of town, where we used to live. It’s hard to get together. Lots of times, baby and I are at home chillin, and our biggest adventure is a trek to Tarjay. And that’s oh so bad for the budget. LOL

On Sunday, everyone was tired. HH slept in because he took allergy meds the night before. Lailah woke up early, but then she took a cat nap. I tried, but as soon as I got sleepy, she woke up. HH came out into the living room and then she fell asleep for like two hours. So I took a siesta as well. When we woke up, it was time for HH to leave for work. We took our obligatory Sunday visit to Tarjay, and someone fell back asleep in the cart.

That doesn’t even look comfortable, but I guess it worked for her.

How was your weekend? Did you get any good naps in?

Good Timing

Today, after I went to get Baby L from daycare, I decided to run by Healthy Home Market to pick up some things (more about one of those things in another blog). It was a spur of the moment thing.

I got what I needed and we came back to the car. I was buckling L in and then as I ducked back out of the car, this young woman was standing there, timidly.

She explained that she was with her baby son, and her car wouldn’t start. She had the jumper cables and just wanted to know if I could give her a jump.

It’s 2014. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look around like, “is somebody about to come from around a corner and try to jump me/take my vehicle/etc.? But it was broad daylight in front of a whole strip of stores, with people coming in and out.

None of which stopped to help her.

So, I pulled around to where she was parked and faced her car. When we tried to get the hood up, it wouldn’t budge. I felt really girly at that moment…why can’t we get this hood open? LOL! A young man driving by asked if we needed help, and she told him yes. He parked and put his flashers on.

Turns out she didn’t have the hood release pulled out all the way. D’oh! He hooked the cables up, and her car started right up. We both thanked him for stopping, and he thanked me for being gracious enough to stop. That caught me by surprise.

I asked her where she was headed, and it wasn’t too far from where we were. Alas, it was in the opposite direction of where I was going. Otherwise, I probably would have followed her to make sure she was ok.
I have AAA Gold and if push came to shove, we could’ve called them.

I wondered about her as a drove home. Her car was older. It had all these leaves and things around the hood by the windshield, and cobwebs on the bottom right front bumper, as if she didn’t drive it much, or it had been sitting for a while. I hope she and her son made it home ok.

Just glad I decided to go to the store after all. Perfect timing so that I could help someone in need.

I Guess We’re the Village

CH has a friend. We’ll call him S. S is in the ROTC with him, and doesn’t live too far from us, now that his family has moved. I feel some kind of way about his family and his home situation.

A few weeks ago, he came to spend the night. They had an ROTC event, and he was going to ride with CH. This was a Friday night. Saturday I went to pick them up, and CH asks can he spend the night again. Sure, if that’s ok with his aunt and/or grandmother. He stays. The next day, HH heads to work and tells them to wrap their weekend up by 5:00.

At 4:55, CH comes to me wanting to know if I can give S a ride home. Something about his aunt didn’t want to drive in the rain. And? I’m supposed to drag my 4 month old out in the rain? No! Make arrangements to get your kid. Or, as an ADULT, you call me to square the situation away. Don’t send messages through the kids. As you can tell, I was a bit perturbed. We don’t send CH anywhere without arrangements to pick him up, or prior agreement with other parents to drop him off.

Long story short, these trifling azzed people his family do not come and pick him up or make arrangements for him to be picked up. HH has to take him home at 11:30pm.

Who does this?!?

He’s been over another night since then, but now that they live closer it’s walking distance. One day I asked CH what’s the deal. This was a day that I was nice enough to drop him at home, since I was running errands. To my chagrin, we pull up and there’s two cars in their driveway (grrrrrrr – you got 2 cars but can’t give your kid rides anywhere?!?) Anywho, CH says he lives with his aunt and grandmother, and from the little interaction he had with them, he even felt that they were trifling. He said that S always calls or texts him on the weekends wanting to know what he’s doing, and saying he’s trying to get away from the house. I asked him what does S plan to do after HS. He said he’s going into the military.

I don’t know where his mother is…but it appears his aunt/grandmother took him in, and they act like it was done under duress. Why would you take him in if you didn’t want to be involved in his life?

I feel bad for him, but I am not about to entertain and feed him every weekend. He looks to be well clothed. When they’re not paying attention, I check for signs of any physical abuse, and I haven’t seen any.

Yesterday morning he walked to our house so he could get a ride to ROTC. He came back with CH in the afternoon and stayed here until CH sent me a text asking if he could stay the night. I said no, maybe next weekend before we head to NY. I wasn’t feeling well, and Lailah was on one. I felt kind of bad, but I just wasn’t in the mood.

I’m trying not to make too many assumptions. Maybe he’s trouble when he’s home. Although I don’t think so, because he’s super polite when he’s here. If I go grocery shopping, he’s trying to beat CH to the car to get the bags. They made breakfast for everyone last weekend and cleaned the kitchen. He clearly knows the rules here. LOL

On the one hand, I feel good that our home is an environment that he feels comfortable in, but on the other, you’re not going to hand your kid off to me and I’ve never even met or talked to you. It takes a village to raise a child, but my goodness. I just really wonder what goes on at his house, that he always wants to escape…

Monday Randoms

I did a comparison pic of me vs. Lailah at 4 months. A comparison of foreheads shows that I am the mama! *Mau.ry Pov.ich voice* LOL!

HH and I switched cars today. He wants to wash mine. Now that he has new rims on his car, I have to get 28 instructions on how to drive it: don’t hit any potholes…watch the curbs when you turn… I mean, really. You scratch ONE rim, and your driving skills get downgraded to “remedial.” LOL!

There’s an older man who I see in Star.bucks every morning. Today, he and his partner in crime told me that my shoes were beautiful. It was like that scene from Coming to America: “what is that, velvet? This is niiiiiice!”

My friend Nee sent us a gift card for Lailah…using that and two other Tarjay cards I had left over from my shower, I was able to get Lailah a big pack of diapers, 2 boxes of her vitamin D supplement, some bibs, and a bottle warmer – which is more for Daddy’s use than her. Poor thing. He wanted to bottle feed her the other night, but he was so discombobulated. He forgot to turn on the water to warm it up before he went in to change her. She, like her mamma, is ready to eat when she’s ready to eat. So, she’s already aggravated by the diaper change, and now the food ain’t ready? Not happy. I ended up having to get up anyway, so I just nursed her. Next time, we will be ready. The bottle warmer heats the milk up in about 3 minutes. 🙂

Our daycare said they love Lailah, but they’re not taking any more infants unless we have another one. Alrighty then! I don’t think we’ve fully decided, but I did determine that the cut off age for another child to exit this body is 41. If it doesn’t happen by then, somebody goes under the knife.

I got back to yoga last week. I decided my days to go are Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Right now, I’m on a 30 days for $30 special. After that, we’ll have to see what’s in the budget.

Speaking of which, I set up a budget and I’m trying to get back to living on a set amount of cash between pay periods. Gas and grocery expenditures will be on one card, and I will pay in full after each statement. Hopefully I guesstimated correctly on those. I even budgeted in my Starbucks habit. Part of budgeting is being realistic, right?

We are heading to NY in two weeks. Lailah gets to meet her other grandmas, her grandfather, and aunties and uncles on HH’s side. We are staying with MamaMixtress, and I have already advised her that she will have to share. She said, “I guess!” Oldsters. LOL!
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I found a mini “Lord Business” Lego figure on Amazon. It wasn’t in the budget, but it was $9 so I ordered it. *shrug* I am going to keep it on my desk at work.

See? Totally random.

Friends

I was thinking about friendships recently. Mostly about how they ebb and change when your life changes. I guess we all serve a purpose in someone’s life, in one capacity or another.

I’ve noticed, since Lailah was born, some things have shifted. I don’t have the “freedom” in my schedule and cannot be as spontaneous as I used to be. We don’t have family here, besides HH’s niece; she’s in law school and just recently moved her pre-teen daughter down here, so we don’t want to impose on her. We don’t want to impose on our friends, either. So far, we’ve only had one friend babysit.

But anywho, I’ve noticed the people who have sort or backed away, and others have stepped up. Maybe I’m just in my feelings (LOL), but when I log into social networks and see people posting about events/get-togethers that I would’ve been invited to previously, that they didn’t even bother to invite me to now, that kind of sucks. Like, I still want to have a life, too. If I know in enough time, I can make arrangements. Reminds me of when Tiffany in Houston wrote about how her single friends were acting like she was persona non grata when she got married.

Then I got perturbed. I’ve noticed that some people really leaned on ME when they were having all kinds of trouble and problems. Now that life is back in order, I don’t hear from them as much.

Yes, I am a mom now. But that’s not my whole life. I was talking to a counselor about all the changes from 2012 to now. He pointed said that he is a big proponent of “me time,” and that it seems most of my “me time” outlets have gone by the wayside. I never thought about it, but he is right. When we moved to our house, that took me (physically) away from the activities I used to do and people I used to hang with. No more yoga. No more triathlon mentoring/participation. No more dropping by to see friends as much, because we live on opposite sides of the earth now. I think this has been part of my frustration and tension lately, and I’m making plans to address it.

I know they say that some people are only in your life for a season. I guess I’m surprised by some or the people who have become seasonal. Also grateful for the people who still reach out and communicate.

Do you think people can move between friend status and acquaintance status? Or are they always friends, but just move from being close to being distant?

Bluer than Blue

I just took a quiz about my aura. Gotta love FB. The answers I gave indicated that my aura is blue. This is what it said about blue auras:

Personality: Blue’s are very loyal and can be the truest friend any aura could hope to find. On the inside, blues tend to be emotional and even a bit moody. However, you know that other auras depend on you, so you put on a strong front. They tend to live a quiet but enriching life. Blues are very giving of them and is hard to let go of relationships. They believe the key to living a good life is simple: Be as honest with yourselves and others as possible. They value the truth over everything else. Blue will remain loyal to those who are honest with them, even if their honesty hurts. Compared to most other auras, blues handle the truth very well. They take every event into stride. Blues are the calm spot in a sea of chaos. They think that the solution to most problems is open communication; they wish that people would be more real with each other. A Blue personality uses its five physical senses to access information. An emotionally driven personality, you need to be liked and accepted. It is one of the “needs” that can cause apprehension in your personality. You are a polite, cooperative person who seeks to create conflict-free surroundings. You possess highly developed powers of observation. Family is important to you and you sometimes find yourself in the role of being a caretaker. You are conservative, reliable and trustworthy – you are quite trusting of others although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. You are not impulsive- you always think before you speak and act and do everything at your own pace in your own time. You take time to process and share your feelings. You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously. You have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life. You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side. You are generally fairly even-tempered, unless your emotions take over – then you can become either moody and over-emotional, or cool and indifferent. You are sensitive to the needs of others. While you are friendly and sociable, you prefer the company of your own close group of friends. You are a rescuer and love to be needed. You can be rigid – you like to stick to what is familiar to you- you stubbornly do things your way even if there is a better way. Untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm you. You don’t like to draw attention to yourself. While you don’t like to have discord or conflict in your life, you are often the cause of conflict with others; you can be quite manipulative but in a very subtle way.
You make a loyal and faithful marriage partner and you are an honest, trustworthy and sincere friend. You are aware of others feelings and sensitive to the moods of others. You are approachable and friendly, always making people feel welcome in your life. You have a thirst for knowledge in order to gain wisdom and appear knowledgeable in whatever area interests you. You can be too cautious and worry about every little thing.

The bold emphasis is mine, as those were parts that I felt really described me. However, I think pretty much all of it is on point.

If you would like to take the quiz, here is the link. If you take it, come back and tell me what your result was, and whether you think it fits you. 🙂

Ms. Johnnie

So, I can’t remember if I mentioned it on the blog before (I know I’ve tweeted about her), but we have a neighbor named Ms. Johnnie. She is married to Mr. Bob. They live across the street from us. They are 73 and 76, respectively, and very much retired. They moved back down here from NY/NJ a few years ago.

When we came to do our walk through before the final closing on the house, Ms. Johnnie was outside to greet us.

Ms. Johnnie: are you our new neighbors?

HH: we’re trying to be!

She talked to us for about 30 minutes, telling us about the neighborhood and the neighbors. I’m usually not good with names unless I repeat it to myself several times after meeting people. I remembered her name after that conversation. She tickled me that day, chasing the geese with her broom.

Since we’ve moved in, they’ve looked out for us like we are their family. Mr. Bob is especially impressed with HH, and how he’s outside washing our cars or tending to our yard. Ms. Johnnie is always checking on me to make sure not on my feet too long or in the sun too long.

I love to hear her stories about her marriage. They’ve been married for 42 years. It seems like we have similar personalities; like I’m looking at who HH and I could be in our 70s. She fusses at Mr. Bob about the same things I fuss at HH about. LOL!

About an hour ago, I was leaving to head to the store, and she was outside sweeping. She said, “you need me to go with you?” I said, “sure!”

Now, I really did not need her to go with me, but I sensed that she wanted to go. We took a nice ride to the Ha.rris Te.eter and talked about our families. She insisted on pushing the cart, and told me to take my time.

I got a few things I needed and then I realized that I really needed some kitty litter. But y’all, I knew Ms. Johnnie was absolutely NOT here for me lifting that small box of litter in my state of pregnancy. Even if it is light and well within my control. So I left that litter right on the shelf and just laughed to myself.

On the way out of the store, she grabbed the bags out of the cart and told me not to lift a thing! She was serious, too. I grabbed a bag that had one – one – Ren.uzit freshener in it, and I swear she wanted to take it from me. LOL!

When we came back home, she insisted in bringing in groceries, but HH intercepted her. She gave me her number to call if I ever needed anything, and I put it up on the fridge.

And then, she was gone. She said she was not going to impose, and she walked it on back across the street to Mr. Bob, and her collards she left simmering on the stove with him.

We might not be kids anymore, but we still need a “village,” too. I’m glad to count Ms. Johnnie and her husband as part of ours.

Routines

I am pretty routine about how I live my life. It’s almost downright predictable. I will work. I will tweet. I will FB. I will (occasionally) blog. LOL! So, the people I am closest with know this about me.

If I’m going to make a change in the routine, I will generally give someone a heads up. Like, when I go on my social networking hiatus. “Hey y’all, don’t worry about me, I’ll be gone for the month of January” – people see that and they know not to worry.

I remember a few times when Serenity_23 was in her hiatus for Lent, and folks didn’t know. I would get tweets or text messages asking if she was ok.

There is a group of people I follow on twitter. We all follow each other. If one goes MIA, I will inevitably see a tweet asking, “where’s so and so?”

It reminds me of when I first moved to Charlotte. My big sister, aka Big Dolly (my dad used to call us all Dolly, lol) would call me every Friday to make sure I was ok. Seriously. Every Friday. This was before social networking. We’re talking 1999. I had a home phone with an answering machine. I didn’t even have a cell phone. That was our routine. If I wasn’t home, the message was inevitably, “I’m just checking in…make sure you call me back so I know you’re ok.”

That was our routine. And I made sure I called her back. I did not want her going all John Walsh America’s Most Wanted on me. I can just imagine CMPD rolling up on my door. LOL!

I say all that to say, that I appreciate this social network I have. Some of whom I’ve never even laid eyes on, who would take the time to check on little ol’ me to see if I’m ok. Because they know my routine, and if I break it, something may be wrong.

So, thank you. Your efforts are not in vain. 🙂

House Hunters on Hold

So, the house hunt is on pause. Our realtor has kidney stones. Bless his heart! I hope they’re small enough to pass and not need surgery. Either way, he’s gonna be in pain. We like him so we’ll wait. We have a few months leeway, since our lease isn’t up until 9/30.

In other news, the bestest husband ever greeted me with this surprise when I got home:

A dress and some tops from NY & Co. I have really been trying to stay out of that store, because I tend to lose my mind in there. I was saying that I needed some tops for spring, and he took it and ran with it. 🙂 And he was super savvy with it – several red line and sale items! Just how I would’ve shopped. He picked everything himself.

He also got a lawn mower today. Our yard was looking a little “Jungle Book.” Per our lease, we are responsible for the maintenance. I have a feeling this will become CH’s chore until he leaves for his summer in NY. LOL

This has been a sad week for our country. Honestly, while I like to be informed, I find that the news – and social media displays of the news – tend to overwhelm me at times like this. I really haven’t been watching much news this year. Between HH and twitter I tend to stay informed. I just struggle when I let a lot of negativity in. Which conflicts with my feelings that a responsible adult would be well versed in the goings and comings of the world. I guess twitter is my way of reconciling those two things.

Now HH? When I come home (on his days off) he’s watching local news, CNN, HLN, MSNBC, and even Faux Fox News. I usually leave him in the living room with that. He tells me what I need to know.

They are about to realign some units at work. There will be casualty units and then litigation/large loss units. Given that my current unit lead is a lawyer, I know he’s going to end up with a litigation unit. Which means I won’t get to stay under him. This seriously makes me sad. Like, teary eyed sad. He has made this first year awesome. I don’t want to work under anyone else! Ugh. It’s not that I can’t, because I can pretty much work with anyone. I just plain don’t want to. Oh well. Change is a part of life. I’m continuing to roll with it.