The One Where We Went to the ER

After Ms. Lailah sounded like she was wheezing and she vomited up her breast milk like Lin.da Bla.ir in The Ex.orcist.

What can I say? I’m a new mommy. And she sounded like she could not breathe very well. This is that lovely cold that started Thursday evening. Good ol’ daycare germs.

Of course, when we got there, she had fallen asleep and seemed to be breathing normally. But even HH said she sounded like she was wheezing, so I know it wasn’t just me.

She had a chest x-ray and it was clear. She wasn’t running a temp when we got there, but her temp had been slightly elevated previously. The doctor said he wasn’t surprised at that or the previous wheezing.

In the end, they told us to use a humidifier in her room (which would be our room, right now) and to use saline drops three times a day to help clear out her nose with the bulb aspirator.

So, HH is in the 24 hour CVS getting the saline drops and distilled water. I suspect we will all crash and burn when we get home.

One Month In

Little Miss L is one month old! I can’t believe it. That means it’s almost time for me to go back to work. *sigh*

Yesterday, while she was asleep, I went through my bin of fall/winter clothes. I realized that my new upper body is NOT fitting in anything marked “medium” any time soon. So, all of those sweaters and tops from New York and Company are in a box – they will either go to friends or to a women’s shelter. I can still fit some of my pre-pregnancy jeans, so at least there’s that. *looks down at chest*

Miss L is in charge of all schedules. I prayed to every deity known that she would give me a long stretch of sleep last night. What did I get? Woken up every 2-2.5 hours to nurse. Booooooo! LOL! And what is she doing right now as I type this? Coming up on 5 hours of sleep. Seriously, little girl?

We have been doing a lot of co-sleeping. It’s just easier with nursing. However, I’ve also been trying to get her used to sleeping in her Rock n Play next to the bed (the Pack n Play was taking up too much room, and we need to take it to daycare next month, anyway). She sleeps in it, but fidgets and grunts a lot. The doctor said that’s just normal baby noises. I’ll have to take her word for it. I am wondering when I will stop jumping at every noise. It’s not my intent to co-sleep for a long time, but since we have a split ranch, it will be a couple is months before she’s out of our room and into her crib.

It’s funny to check in on high school friends on FB, and see that their kids are in high school or older, and here I am just getting started. However, that’s ok with me, because looking back on some of the chuckleheads men I dated, I know that I was absolutely not meant to procreate with any of those dudes.

I know that everything happens when it’s supposed to happen, but I sometimes wish that HH and I had had more time to ourselves before CH moved down, and more time being married before we had a baby. We’ve had so many major life changes in a very short time. There’s something to be said for adapting to change!

I never thought that I would be a mom, yet here I am. Every time I look at my little mini me, I’m so glad the universe entrusted me with loving and caring for her.

Tuesday, I cried…

Hard. Like, sobbing, snot-filled tears.

I was trying to lay down and rest. HH was with me, as he needed to rest for work. All of a sudden, I just started crying and could not stop.

He grabbed me and hugged me and asked, “what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

People, I had no idea. I had had a convo with my mom that was slightly irritating, but nothing major. I just had a general feeling of anxiety and being overwhelmed. So, that’s what I told him. He just held me, rubbed my back until I could calm down.

Then uttered his new favorite phrase: “you need to get some rest.”

To be fair, I don’t know how many hours of sleep I was operating with. Probably not many. The ol’ “rest when she rests” sometimes proves easier said than done. Sometimes she’s resting and I’m wide awake and cannot force myself to sleep. And – of course – when she’s fussy, hungry, or just wanting some skin to skin time, I feel dead to the world. Right now, I am not giving her a pacifier or bottle until we have our follow up with the lactation consultant. So all meals are on me, literally.

Back to the ugly cry. I cried so hard that my eyes were swollen and it looked like I had an allergic reaction to something. I think that alarmed HH, so he immediately became the Rest Police. He gave me a pain med for my surgery site, and sent me to bed. Baby L had just laid down. When he left for work, he had mom come in and stay with me so that whenever Baby L woke up, I just had to feed her. Mom changed diapers and burped her and rocked her back to sleep as necessary.

And I got some rest.

This has been our routine for the past couple of nights, and it has worked well. Except last night, because after the 3:45am feeding, mom and I ended up staying up talking. Oops. Don’t tell the Rest Police.

But on Tuesday? I definitely cried.