A Little Sad

I decided to stop breast feeding.

It’s been something I’ve been going back and forth on for the last few weeks. I really have enjoyed that bonding time with my Lai (except the time she bit me on BOTH sides), and it certainly is easier at night.

Alas, it has been more stressful, than anything, the past couple of months.

Last month, I was in the hospital for 2 days. Essentially 3, if you count the emergency room time (and I’m fine now). That disrupted my schedule of nursing and pumping. It’s hard to pump when you’re constantly on IV meds. When I returned home, my supply had dipped. It was hard to get it to increase. And trust me, I’m well aware of fenugreek and brewer’s yeast and mother’s milk tea. Tried it all. And all my mommy friends are like, “noooooo! Don’t give up yet.” But I’m tired.

The other thing is, it’s just hard to pump twice during the work day. I had two scheduled times. We only have one room, and all the mothers have to share it. I have spent the last few weeks battling to get up there. People always schedule meetings during the time I should be pumping. I would end up working through lunch to make up time I missed. Or working late. Or I’d get up to the room late, and have to hurry up so that I didn’t disrupt another mother’s time.

All that to come home with 3 or 4 little ounces.

I definitely wanted to go to a year, but we’ve made it to 10.5 months, and that will have to be ok. One thing motherhood is teaching me, is to work on being more flexible about my plans.

The first 5 months of her life, she had nothing but breast milk. Months 5-8 she had breast milk and solids. The last couple of months she’s been supplementing with formula. Luckily, she has taken to it and not had an adverse reactions.

In a perfect world, she would’ve not had any manufactured formula. Alas, that’s not the world we live in. That’s the part that makes me a little sad. I never wanted to give her formula.

But I figure, at the end of the day, what’s best for Lai is to have a mommy who is not stressed out (not about this, anyway).

So that’s that.

Tomorrow I will email our ops person and tell her to take me off the list, so that another mommy can have my scheduled times in the room. The official end of the breast feeding chapter.

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5 thoughts on “A Little Sad

  1. I remember when I had to stop breastfeeding my son early (around 4 months) because I couldn’t get a good supply going due to work and stress. I hated it but I’m hoping with this next baby coming, I will be able to get a few months longer. You are absolutely right that the best thing you can do for her is not have all that stress and pressure on you so you can be the best mommy.

  2. Hey, every mom works things out the best way for her and her family. You made it a long time. Some give up after 2 days of it. Pat yourself on the back and congratulations to moving on to a new chapter for you and your family!

    My son is 6 months and we’re still nursing but I agree with you, that pumping at work is a beast. I am the only one nursing at work so the room is all mine but STILL, sometimes, I just get too busy.

    • Totally a beast! I had my sad moment, and now I’m feeling a bit ok.

      Blogger hates me and never lets me comment …but I just read your photo shoot post and hollered at that Sound of Music ament!! Lawd have mercy. They pics came out beautifully, though. 🙂

  3. You are an incredibly fabulous Mother. I have no doubt that you took your time and made the best decision for you and all the members of your family.

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