Men Don’t Read Directions on Mars

So, DiscoDiva sent us a waffle maker as a wedding present. Yay! Last weekend I made HH some waffles. I opened the waffle maker packaging and READ THE DIRECTIONS. What it means when the red light comes on, the green light comes on, how much batter to use per waffle, etc. We had great cinnamon waffles.

This morning, HH woke up and said, “you want some waffles?” I said, “sure!”

I heard him mixing the batter and all was going well.

Then I heard, “well, that didn’t turn out the way I planned it!”

Uh oh.

I went running into the kitchen, and there is an abundance of waffle caked to the waffle maker and almost burnt. He has it cranked up to 3.

Me: well…I generally put it on 2, and per the directions you only use half a cup of batter per waffle. That’s what it said in the manual.

Him: oh. I didn’t know that.

I figured. Because the directions are nowhere to be found (they’re in the kitchen drawer with all other electronics manuals), which means they were never read. And even after I told him that, he attempted to make another waffle by pouring a random amount of batter on there without measuring!

He says it’s his first and last time using the waffle maker. I concur, given the three crispy waffles he just pulled off of there. LMAO!


Who Dis Woman?

This morning, I jumped up early to get dinner in the crock lot. We’re having beef stew with sweet potatoes.


I laughed to myself, because 10 years ago, this woman did not exist. Do you hear me? She did not exist. She had no crock pot. She barely cooked. This woman, at 38, is very different from the woman who existed at 28.

This time ten years ago:

  • I was 28. I lived in a one bedroom apartment on the south side. I had no one to be responsible for but me. Not even a pet. Wake up early? What’s that?
  • I had just broken up with a dude who could only seem to be committed to his mom, his daughter, and his job. (I stupidly gave him another chance 4 years later, but that’s another blog. I’m sure he’s still committed to those same things, except now he has a son, too. LOL)
  • I was the heaviest weight I had ever been. I went to visit my sis and bro in law in Germany that year. My bro in law told me (years later), that I “waddled” towards them in the airport. O_o LOL!
  • 20130203-102104.jpg
    (me in Fall 2002…looked pretty much the same when I went to Germany)

  • I was still working in insurance, but at that point hadn’t gotten serious about it as a career. It was a job.
  • I wasn’t good with budgeting or anything remotely related to same.

So, “who dis woman” now? In no particular order, she’s a wife. A triathlete. A (step)mom. An insurance professional. A daughter who misses her father and loves her mother. A sister who loves her four siblings with all her heart and soul. An auntie who loves all 6 of her nieces and nephews with all her heart and soul. (Hopefully) a good friend who is there for her friends like they are there for her. A woman who is just trying to live life and figure out her way through this world, with each new challenge.

I like her. 🙂

They Don’t Count

I’ve decided that birthday calories don’t count, because I just smashed this salmon dish:

And when I got back to my cousin’s house, I ate one of these:

20130127-213315.jpg(those would be “Better Than S*x” cupcakes – chocolate cake with caramel inside, and toffee pieces sprinkled on the frosting)

So…yeah. They don’t count. LOL!

Nobody Cares

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned my disdain for the stick figure family car decals on this blog. I don’t know why, they just get on my nerves. Especially when it’s, like, 1 person and 3 cats. Really? LOL!


20130125-212345.jpg(please note the little baby stick figure hauling tail at the front of the pack…LMAO)

My sisters came to me tonight and said, “we got you a present, and you have to promise to use it!” Ummm…ok! At this point, I had NO idea what it was. Especially since we had just finished discussing Brazilian waxes. I figured I could find a loophole in that I wouldn’t have to use it in the intended purpose, whatever it was. Nope! My sister made me pinky swear to use it for its intended purpose. This is what happens when your family knows you too well.

So, of course, I burst out laughing when they presented me with this:

I guess I can’t get my “Nobody Cares” decal now, huh? And I can only put the female and the cat, because we know HH represents for those Deadskins.


A promise is a promise, right? *kicks trash can*