(photo courtesy of this blog)
I usually don’t listen to unsolicited advice. I try not to give it if I’m not asked. Every now and then it just ekes out. LOL! And then you have friends who ask for it without actually asking you, but you can tell by the tone of the conversation that they’re looking for direction.
One of my previous managers in Atlanta contacted me the other day, to give me an update on some “goings on” down in my old stomping ground. That made me think of a piece of advice he doled out back in 2007, with regard to relationships:
“Don’t mess with anybody who ain’t got sh*t to lose.”
I was like, “what?!?” Because he is crazy sometimes (lol). As he broke it down to me, I was in total agreement. We were speaking in terms of a guy (whom I didn’t know), who was struggling with child support issues, but really, this applies to friendships, acquaintances…pretty much any relationship. Apparently, one of the mothers of this guy’s children came up to his previous job and straight crowned him. She clearly did not have 2 flying figs to give.
If a person doesn’t care enough about their own life and livelihood to act like they’ve got the sense God gave a nanny goat, why would they care about your life? If they don’t care enough about losing their own job, not seeing their kids, severing ties with family…you don’t think they’ll wreak havoc in your life? You’re standing there *facepalming* while they tear your life up, literally and figuratively.
People who care about their jobs, financial stability, and reputation generally will not act the fool (of course, there are exceptions to this rule).
They say you are a reflection of your inner circle, the 5 closest people to you. What does that reflection look like? If its ugly, change your circle. It’s ok to change it. I promise.
My locticians/stylists – Tinesha, Kelley and Jessica – live three of the most peaceful lives I know. They are happy because the people around them reflect their happiness, and they don’t allow Negative Nancy and Nathaniel into their inner circle. I’ve had the opportunity to interact with them outside of the salon, and I’ve seen it in action.
I was telling my BFF the other day that there are some people in my life that I’ve had to “go Switzerland” on. Remain neutral. Because there’s too much drama and I just can’t get sucked into the emotional roller coaster of people who act like they don’t have anything to lose.
So, that would be my unsolicited, random advice to you this evening: “Don’t mess with anybody who ain’t got sh*t to lose.”