Get Your A__ Up!


The teen is pretty good about going to bed at night. He’s almost always in bed before I am. Every night, out of habit, I ask, “you got your alarm set? Got your clothes out for tomorrow?” His answers are always “yes” to both of those.

I’ve noticed since we moved, some mornings he doesn’t come out of the room until 6:15 or 6:20 (sans that infamous 12 SAUSAGE BREAKFAST FIASCO. No, I’m not letting it go. Ever. LOL), and he needs to leave by 6:25 as the bus gets to his stop between 6:30 – 6:35.

Recently, I asked him what time his alarm was set for. He went through this elaborate explanation about setting one for 5:00 and then another one at 5:30, blah blah blah…i tuned him out, because at that point, I just thought, “that’s stupid.” Set one alarm, and get your azz up. Period. Which is pretty much what I told him.

Me: I don’t know how much time you need to get ready, eat breakfast, etc. But you need to take that time frame and work backwards from the time you leave the house. Just set one for 5:45 and then when it goes off you get up, go to the bathroom, splash some cold water on your face and stay up.

Teen: OK.

And even though I said I wasn’t going to be checking on him, if he doesn’t peek out that room by 6:15 I knock on the door. He will usually say he’s up or getting dressed. This morning, I was in the shower and something told me, the one morning I don’t check on this dude he will oversleep.

I knocked, no answer. I knocked extra hard and when he answered, you could tell he was started.

Me: dude, it’s 6:23? What are you doing?
Him: it is?
Me: *facepalm*

I just walked away, because I felt myself morphing into Flora (my mom) and about to start a speech with, “didn’t I tell you to…” followed by “one day you’re gonna learn to listen to me…” sprinkled with “funny how you can get up on the weekends at dark o’clock to play Xbox…” rounded up with “a hard head makes a soft behind!”

Turning into your parents is real, people.

I heard him futzing around in the bathroom and hollered, “it’s 6:25!!! What time does the bus come?” He said 6:35, but I swear he told me before that it was 6:30. Either way, I’m gonna need you to get out this house and get to that bus stop expeditiously.

I handed him his money for his lunch account. “You’re cutting it real close, dude. Have a good day at school.”

I know Samuel L. Jackson narrated a book called, Go The %#*€ To Sleep! I wonder if he’d do a recording for me: “Get Your A$$ Up!” I could play it on the surround sound in the living room at volume 87.


22 thoughts on “Get Your A__ Up!

  1. *whispers* I feel the teen’s pain. I have several alarms set too. The first one goes off at 6:15, the next at 6:30 and the last at 6:50. (Mind you we have to be out of the house at 7:30…*wall slides*) I was the absolute WORST at getting up and getting off to school when I was in high school. My mom used to damn near threaten to whoop my “a” w/ a belt for me to get up and get moving. D and the Hubs are the picture of getting up fine in the morning. Ry and I are the exact same way and are slow to start. SMH. Must do better! LOL

    • LOL! Ma’am, do I need to start calling you? I leave the house at 6:45EST. LMAOOOOO! So basically, when she’s a teen you’re going to turn into your mother. That’s grandparents’ revenge right there.

      • I just can’t get it together in the mornings. My mom always laughs and says “yep you’re getting back what you gave me” Hmmph! The teen got comfy w/ that extra cushion of time, lawd knows I would too! LOL. SMH

  2. Before becoming a baker turned me into a morning person (I still curse that), I used to have to set multiple alarms. Before the days of iphones with multiple alarms, I used to set my alarm for approximately an hour and 10 minutes before I needed to get up and then snooze every 8 minutes. Yes, that’s 9-10 times. It drove my ex-hubs apeshit crazy, but it was just how I had to do it.

    Now? I can barely stay asleep until the alarm goes off, but I’m happy to at least be past the days of being wide awake at 4:30.

    • Yeah, 4:30 is a bit early. As adults, we have the liberty of hitting snooze because we’re usually responsible for our own transportation. If he misses the bus, I will have to take him to school. I am not going to be deviating all the time simply because he doesn’t get out of the bed. Honest mistakes (power outtage, etc) are exceptions. The snooze button is not. LOL!

  3. LMAO. I’m a morning person but there are days I hit snooze. I don’t set multiple alarms though. Tyler on the other hand sets alarms as ridiculous times and doesn’t hear them.. So I have told him “Do not set another GD alarm in this house.” I just walk in and turn on the lights and wake him up lol.

  4. Great post and you gave me a laugh I so needed right now. I use my Iphone as my alarm because I am too lazy to reach across CB and turn it off in the morning. We still wake Jalen up in the morning. He doesn’t have to get up until 7:30 am or so. His bus comes at 8:20. Justin (nephew) is responsible for getting up at dark o’clock (5:30). His bus leaves around 6:15 or so. I am not sure! I just started my new schedule and when I get up at 6:15 he is already gone. (((whew that is too early))).

    • That sounds like CH’s old bus schedule. Like I said, he was great getting up at the old house. I need him to get back on track. I’m the kinder, gentler parent. If HH handles it, it really IS going to be a “getcho azz up! Ain’t nobody got time to be waking you up!” moment. LOL!

  5. I set multiple alarms because sometimes I accidentally hit “off” instead of snooze and oversleep. That 2nd alarm is my insurance lol. I’m NOT a morning person and operate a lot like your teen and I’m 30…always have. We both need to do better smh!

    • I didn’t used to be, but now it’s hard for me to sleep in too late. He needs to move his alarm from his nightstand to his dresser, so he has to get up and actually turn it off. I wasn’t a great morning person as a teen, but with my mom working nights she never got home before it was time for me to be at school, and I felt bad about waking my dad up. So I just made sure I was up to make the one mile walk to school.

  6. *flatlines*

    You definitely need to blog more because this is HILARIOUS!!! Dying over you turning into MamaMixtress. Yeah, we do it. Comes with the parenting territory. So did he get to the bus on time?

  7. i set my alarm extra early and hit the snooze a good 6 times before i actually wake up. I am not and will never be a morning person ever! lol

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