*cues up Rene & Angela…the original song version…lol*
Picture it: Syracuse, 1985…Jheri Curls, jamz shorts, and jelly shoes all running amok. This is the backdrop for the meeting of the future class couple. Of course, we didn’t know it then.
My parents sent me to Catholic school starting in Kindergarten (this is after going to the Jewish Community Center for nursery school. Diverse much?). All the rest of the kids in my neighborhood were walking to public school and having fun. By the time it was time to start 5th grade, I wanted to join in the reindeer games. I just just knew my mom was gonna say no, so I had my logical arguments all prepared. But she didn’t protest.
I started 5th grade knowing only my cousin, and the kids from my neighborhood. I had no idea who he was. I actually had a little crush on his cousin. LOL! In 6th grade, one of his friends kept coming up to me and telling me that he liked me. I would always say, “yeah, right!”
He continued dropping the same hints in junior high, but I didn’t buy it. Especially since he took my BFF to the 8th grade semi formal. LOL!
9th grade rolled around, and my BFFs conspired, along with my sister, to plan me a surprise birthday party for my 14th birthday. My mom got me out of the house by taking me clothes shopping. Normally a very enjoyable activity, but not this time. My BFFs had told me they were coming to pick me up to go to the movies, and I kept thinking we were going to be late getting back, so I was driving my mom crazy. I guess this is where my disdain for being late was developed. LOL!
The party was to be at my house at 8:00pm. Everyone had been given invitations at school, unbeknownst to me, including him. I mean, I was totally clueless. So imagine my surprise when we pull up in the driveway, and then a car pulls up and drops him off. Huh?
Me: um, hi. What are you doing here?
Him: I just came by to say hi!
Me: *slightly anooyed* well, ok. But I’m not gonna be here long. BFF1 and BFF2 are coming to take me to the movies.
Him: that’s cool.
Me: (in my head) Seriously?!?
Needless to say, everyone else was already in the house, and when I opened the door, the party commenced! I was totally shocked. We had food, dancing, and fun.
At one point, the tape deck swung on over to some slow jams, and he and I got to dance together. I would say that’s the moment we really connected. At one point the music stopped (y’all remember auto-reverse…the tape needed a moment to change over), and we kept dancing. Everyone else stopped, but we kept going.
And yet, after all of that…we STILL didn’t get together! I know, right?
School went on, and that summer I saw him periodically. I decided that when we got back to school that September, I would profess my feelings and we’d live happily ever after.
Came back to school and he was dating this new chick! He met her during a summer program. *insert record scratch here* What?!? Nooooooooooo! What the deuce? Crushed my little 10th grade dreams, I tell ya! But I tried to play it cool and act like I was happy for him. I had a crush on this guy 1 grade ahead of me. We shared a kiss, and that was about it. LOL!
(This story is getting long. Go grab a snack. I’ll wait.)
G and I had a social studies class together that year. He sat a few seats behind me and was always sending me notes. I developed my snarkiness back then. I was like, “shouldn’t you be sending these notes to your girlfriend?!?” He kept persisting, and I didn’t stop him. Long story short, the girlfriend sent ME a note. Not a scathing one, just one that said she knew at we liked each other and she wasn’t mad. Alrighty then! They broke up, and we got together. Winning!
For about 4 months.
By that spring, we were getting on each others’ nerves. Or maybe he was getting on mine. IDK. I think I initiated the break up. I went on to date this IDIOT who was older than me, and he started dating a girl from another school.
The beginning of 11th grade, I started dating this guy, A. He went to another school, but I knew him from an inter-school program I was a part of, through SU. he was a nice guy, but honestly it was just something to do. That winter, we were going to have a winter formal dance. I asked A to take me to the dance, and he didn’t want to go. He claimed it was because he couldn’t dance (SN: how is your nickname Boogie, but you can’t dance?!?) Fine, dude. I’ma go with someone else! Hmphf.
You can guess where this is going…LOL
Yep. By this time, G had kicked his girl to the curb. I ended up breaking up with A over the phone, and the class couple was born. For real, this time. We didn’t really break up again until our freshman year of college. We went to the prom together, we were named class couple…we were pretty much joined at the hip. My family loved him. He was always at my house. He played football (with HH, actually. LOL!) and lacrosse…I ran track and played soccer. We were that typical HS couple.
College rolled around, and I was off to Buffalo. He was off to Morrisville. It was a tearful goodbye. Once I got my phone installed in my room, we were calling each other and writing. And then, the calls dwindled. I’d call, and his roommates always said he wasn’t there. My roommate’s boyfriend’s cousin was expressing an interest in me…all 6’2″ chocolate 250lbs of him…so, yeah. We returned home during our first fall break and decided to call it quits.
By the 2nd semester of school, I was tired of 6’2″. G had not gone back for his second semester and he was home. We naturally started talking again and drifted back together. He came up to school with my siblings to visit me, and we got back together. He said, “no breaking up this time?” and I said, “deal!” I really meant it, too. Totally pictured us being together forever.
Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. His dad worked for the Miller brewery in town, and they were closing the plant. To keep his job he had to transfer to Indiana. I was crushed. He tried to figure out ways to stay in town, but I didn’t want to hold him back. He left…and I never felt so sad in all my life. Like I physically had chest pain. I missed him so. Just like when we went to college, I tried to continue the communication, but he faded off.
We kept I touch sporadically through college. I would hear what he was up to through my BFF or other folks. I dated people in college, but I never fully committed because I always felt like he as going to come back into the picture. He ended up going back to school and became a Sigma. We were changing and growing.
Enter the Internet boom and good ol’ BlackPlanet. Yep. I had a page. So did he! We reconnected briefly. Then eventually he sent me the note that he was getting married, to his college sweetheart. I congratulated him, and a little piece of my heart broke off. I don’t know why we couldn’t shake this connection. Or maybe it was just ME who couldn’t shake it. He seemed to be doing just fine. At our 10 year HS reunion (2003), everyone kept asking me where he was. All I kept hearing that night was, “I just KNEW y’all were gonna get married.”
Life went on…and shortly after I broke up with Idiot (if you read my previous blog you’ll remember him) in 2008, G and I reconnected. He even came to visit in 2009, and he went to my friend’s wedding with me. Leading up to his visit I began to think, “are we really going to get this together this time?” I called my BFF like, oh my goodness! We might actually get back together!
When he got here, the “spark” just wasn’t there anymore. That connection was missing. There was more effort on his part, but I didn’t feel it. We went to the wedding and had fun. But he had changed, and so had I. It seemed like he had been through some things that had hardened him. He didn’t have that positive vibe I was used to. He flew back home, and then his communication became sporadic again. That was all I needed to officially close the door. When a man really wants to be with you, he will make the effort to do so, no matter the distance or time. Period.
Everything happens for a reason. After his visit, I just decided that I needed a dang break. I went out on casual dates…the adventures of which were chronicled on FB. HH came into the picture and told me he’d have to show me how a man really should be treating me. Y’all know what happened from there.
So, when you look back on your first love, I hope you don’t feel regret. I don’t. He was in my life all those years for a reason. I wish him nothing but the best. 🙂